Blog

I am sharing my story of how I managed to create a stable life by canceling my trip abroad. Like every unemployed person in Kosovo, my parent was in the same situation. He had a “mountain” of diplomas and many years of experience as a professor, but unfortunately, he was forced to emigrate in search of a better life. I also intended to follow in my father’s footsteps even though we both didn’t want to leave the homeland, sad to know that I too would be leaving. Day by day I tried to find job opportunities in my country so that I would not emigrate. In 2019, when I was 15 years old, I had the idea to open a private business that, with the help of my parents, I was able to fund this idea. The business was successful, especially considering my age. The business idea was digital printing. A month after opening the business I received a call from the embassy saying that I had to submit the documents since I had been accepted, I declined and decided to stay here. Although I face some difficulties because our country does not provide proper support for new businesses, except for seeking to fine us for document irregularities or just collect taxes. Anyway, I’m trying to make it, I’m very satisfied with this progress and I don’t intend to go abroad. For this business idea, I have been inspired by many workshops and start-ups where I have participated. Therefore, I call on young people to create their own ideas for business, do their best to get big, and let’s all come together and start a new spirit in our country. WORKING TOGETHER WE CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING. Not every problem is solved just by going abroad!

________

Hello,

I am sharing my story of how I managed to create a stable life by canceling my trip abroad. Like every unemployed person in Kosovo, my parent was in the same situation. He had a “mountain” of diplomas and many years of experience as a professor, but unfortunately, he was forced to emigrate in search of a better life. I also intended to follow in my father’s footsteps even though we both didn’t want to leave the homeland, sad to know that I too would be leaving. Day by day I tried to find job opportunities in my country so that I would not emigrate. In 2019, when I was 15 years old, I had the idea to open a private business that, with the help of my parents, I was able to fund this idea. The business was successful, especially considering my age. The business idea was digital printing. A month after opening the business I received a call from the embassy saying that I had to submit the documents since I had been accepted, I declined and decided to stay here. Although I face some difficulties because our country does not provide proper support for new businesses, except for seeking to fine us for document irregularities or just collect taxes. Anyway, I’m trying to make it, I’m very satisfied with this progress and I don’t intend to go abroad. For this business idea, I have been inspired by many workshops and start-ups where I have participated. Therefore, I call on young people to create their own ideas for business, do their best to get big, and let’s all come together and start a new spirit in our country. WORKING TOGETHER WE CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING. Not every problem is solved just by going abroad!

_______

This is my reality

I live in a country for which my love just grows more and more

This is my reality

I live in a country that does not love me back

I live in a country that doesn’t respect me or my basic rights

It is the reality in which I am afraid to be me

I love my country but I am afraid to do so

I believe that maybe I will hurt myself in that process

I love the songs which were sung to me since I was a child

I love the legends, the dances, the culture

But as most say I never existed in my culture and as such

I am a monster in the eyes of my people

But still, I love my country

I love my people

I love who I am 

An Albanian Kosovar who has to hide in the closet 

Because the fear I have is scarier than the love for freedom

I love…

I love him…

I can’t…

I must not…

I have to hide who I am…

I am afraid of being a failure to my parents…

I am afraid

I have to choke on my tears every night for freedom is not an option

I have to be an actor in other people’s stories

I can’t fulfill my destiny

I can…

But I must not… 

I love my country 

But it surpresses who I am

I seek freedom

But I am choked at the idea of it

I quelch who I am because of who I am meant to be

It is I that I am most afraid of

It is a failure that I can’t become

Because a man loving another man…

Well I won’t say

You who are reading this and understand it to the core

Finish this by yourself, because it is our reality and not just mine

I am Love…

I  am me…

I am sorry…

_______

I can say that each of us, at least once, has thought about leaving Kosovo. For many, this is our first choice. There are many reasons why young men and women of this country do not see a future in Kosovo, where you cannot find a job without knowing someone – I’m talking about the private sector- working in the public sector is not even an option. To enroll in a public university, you have to have connections, your knowledge does not play a role. I personally want to leave Kosovo because it does not offer me the opportunity to continue living and working here; it is very difficult to find a job as a nurse in Kosovo. Even if you manage to find a job, you are not paid well, you don’t have health insurance, and working while studying is not an option; there are a lot of expenses, and in some cases, your work doesn’t give you the opportunity to study whilst working. And let’s not talk about a private university where tuition costs 5,000€ per year, and an unemployed student has to work hard for a salary, for the sake of the future. Kosovo should be a place of opportunities for new people, not a reason for people to run away.

_______

I want to leave Kosovo. I want to leave Kosovo so bad, that I can’t even sleep at night. Kosovo has not treated me well. Kosovo has already shown me what I hate, and what I will never appreciate. Economy, politics, culture, health, education, and many other areas leave much to be desired. I’m leaving Kosovo, because I can’t even call a time when Kosovo made something easier for me. I am leaving Kosovo, because, for everything that is different from “normal”, Kosovo judges me. All I want is a quick and easy way for me to get as far away from here as possible. Kosovo has destroyed my dreams, Kosovo has ruined my plans, why should I love Kosovo? I have no energy left to love Kosovo, because Kosovo drained me!

_______

I’m a gay young man in Kosovo. Imagine pretending to be something you’re not, but for all your life. Imagine being scared of people finding out about your sexuality because that might get you in trouble. Imagine not being free. I want to punch people every day because of their ignorance but I try to keep calm and explain why they’re wrong, it doesn’t usually work. People aren’t ready to listen. That’s why I have to keep my true self hidden from everyone because I might get bullied, beaten, kicked out of my home, or even killed. Every day I hear slurs and other comments that have targeted a community. One Roma kid does something bad, suddenly it’s all Roma people, one Serb says something offensive it’s all Serbs, one woman does something it’s all women. The only group that doesn’t get generalized is the white cis straight rich Albanian men. But despite all the shit in our country, all the hate, and the messed-up mentality we deal with, I still hope for a better, more understanding society. I’m not giving up that easy, I’m not gonna leave no matter how much you don’t want me here. I’m gonna fight so in 10 years a gay teen doesn’t feel like I felt throughout my life. I’m just gonna keep fighting. We will have the society ALL of us dream of, someday. No more groups, men, woman, gay, straight, Albanian, Roma, rich, homeless, blind or deaf, only humans, living happily with each other!!!



With love, 

Hopeful, strong youth! <3

_______

It is sad and unfortunate that as a kid I invested all my energies towards getting out of the country through any means I could. I was lucky enough to be one of the ones who could get out through education. I did not like my school, I didn’t like my teachers, and I hated the values with which the society around me functioned. It was always clear that being born a girl and being born a boy paved two completely different unequal paths, and that never sat right with me. In my school, the Roma kids were put in the same class, segregated from all the Albanian kids. I heard all kinds of names said to them. Even the teachers didn’t want to teach them. Meanwhile, in the classroom, I was taught that being a good girl – which was code language for being silent and obedient – is something to be proud of, and that should be my ambition. My hyperactive friends were beaten, forced out of the classroom, and expelled without any qualitative effort to address and change their behavior. It is moments like these that made me envision a future in a different country where different people are given equal opportunities to live with dignity and reach their full potential.  

_______

The wish to leave Kosovo arose when I first saw the injustices and the impossibility of finding happiness in this country. Every challenge that I faced because of this country strengthened my desire to run away. As a child, I wanted to become a successful doctor. When the time came for me to enroll in college, my family and friends told me not to choose medicine because it would take too long for me to finish college, and it would be difficult for me to get married. I grew up with the idea that my biggest achievement in life was getting married, so I left this dream aside. I enrolled and graduated from the Faculty of Economics. In the end, I ended up with a diploma hanging on the wall and a library of books in my apartment, but in the end, I could not find a job. I started feeling worthless every time my job application was rejected. When called for an interview, I was asked if I planned to get married soon. I found the only way out of this continuous series of challenges and problems is to leave Kosovo.

_______

I want to leave Kosovo because I don’t feel safe here. Every time I go out, I have to be very careful where I’m going, where I’m hanging out, what I’m wearing, what I’m doing… I’m tired of having to remind myself to keep my eyes peeled every time I walk down the street, day or night. I want my basic rights. I want to walk freely and do whatever I want, I don’t want to have to think about “shame”.